I'm love a mommy of 3. My first two are 10,11 and we just lost our son at 21 weeks a week ago..it's been the hardest.. my kids are hurt.. my partner and I and going thru the motions. I feel like it's a dream that I was pregnant and went thru labor and held my son and that he passed away.. I have ptsd from an abusive marriage so my brain tries to forget the bad things and all I have is pictures to remind me that it wasn't a dream. We decided we want a baby again.. it took 3 yrs to get him. I always wanted a baby boy and I got him just not for long. He looks just like daddy. I miss him every day. I want to start right away but I think if we get our rainbow baby we will have a girl.. I really will be happy with a healthy baby but want a boy so badly. I got pregnant right away after my son with my daughter and hoping it happens again. Fingers crossed..