It's so hard to say goodbye...

This past Sunday I had a miscarriage. I was 8w1d. On Friday and Saturday I had some brown spotting but no cramps or pain. Then on Sunday my back started aching and my pelvic area felt strange. I thought maybe it was gas. All of a sudden I felt a gush and went to the bathroom to check and it was bright red blood. Then the cramps started, and more blood and I started passing clots. I went to the ER and as I was preparing to do my urine sample, a ton of blood started pouring out (sorry TMI) and I passed the gestational sac. I told the nurse what had happened but they still did an ultrasound to check. The ultrasound showed an empty uterus. I had and early scan back around 5 weeks and saw the sac in my uterus. So I knew what I had passed was definitely the gestational sac. 

I had a bad feeling when I saw the brown spotting on Friday. I called my doctors office and talked to the NP who said spotting is seen in 30% of of early pregnancies and try not to worry but to go to the ER if the flow becomes heavy like a period. So I tried not to worry even though I didn't have a good feeling about it. I didn't have any spotting with my first pregnancy so I couldn't help but be nervous. 

I'm so sad and heartbroken. I can't believe it's over. I know I was only 8 weeks along, but I was already so attached to the baby and dreaming about our future as a family of four. It's a weird feeling...I want to move on, but I also don't want to let go. Sorry to be a bummer but I felt like sharing my story would help me to heal. 

I still love reading all the November 2017 group updates and seeing your ultrasound pictures. I wish all you mamas the best of luck with the rest of your pregnancies!!