I read this somewhere and I think it's great

Have you ever wondered how to make your relationship work? Well, it is not as hard as it might seem. In every relationship there are some problems but that does not mean you have to give up, there are ways to work past it and forget about it. Here are the ways you can determine if your relationship will work, first would be the way you express yourself with your partner, second is communication, third is how you describe your history together.

Studies show that online sites only “match” or “pair” you with someone if you have similarities, which probably is not what you want in your relationship, what you want is for the site to find someone who handles their emotions the same way as you. Do you believe you should express anger? Or do you believe in holding it in and waiting for it to fizzle out? Do you think happiness should be shared but anger should be suppressed? Sharing your meta-emotional (an organized and structured set of emotions and cognitions about the emotions, both one's own emotions and the emotions of others) style gives you a common emotional template, a common language. Researcher Eli Finkel says “ The algorithm that the dating sites use are really no better than random chance because the idea that the person we should be seeking out is our doppleganger end up leading us away”. There is a site called “The 5 Love Languages” which can help give you an analysis of your emotional communication preferences. Of course every relationship has their ups and downs but it is the way you deal with it that matters.

Giving up should never be an option. Communication is the most important part of your relationship, if you are not communicating then more issues can arise and you could start fighting about little things that should not matter. Gottman’s research say “3 years into a relationship, if you are not arguing at all, you are much more likely to find yourself arguing in divorce court”. To resolve this you should start by trying to find solutions to your arguments. Some studies also show that arguing is actually healthy for your relationships sometimes, it shows that you care and want to work things out. If you are always quiet in your relationship it could be signs of withdrawal. Not fighting is also a sign that you are not communicating.

The way you and your partner describe your history together could also determine if you will stay together or drift apart. From “A Book About Love” it says, “After assessing fifty-two couples based on their oral history interviews, the psychologists Kim Buehlman, John Gottman, and Lynn Katz at the University of Washington found that the way spouses described their history predicted whether they would get divorced within the next three years with 94 percent accuracy. It’s an astonishing statistic: by simply looking at how couples speak about their past, the scientists could foresee their future.” You need to ask yourself if the conflict lead to a happy ending or if it did not.