MY new baby sister

My estranged father just had a baby with his girlfriend and I am trying to be the bigger person because I want to be in her life, but at the same time it's so hard. We haven't spoken in so many years and he hurt me so much as a child and was terrible and abusive to my mom. 

But he's made this beautiful baby and I've never had a sister before. I want so much to be a part of her life and I guess that means being a part of his. We are trying to repair our broken relationship but it's not something I ever planned on doing.

What hurts the most is that my wife and I are trying for our own baby and seeing him have a child so easily is just gutting. It doesn't seem fair that such a horrible man gets a beautiful perfect child and we have always tried to be good people and can't seem to conceive. I know that has nothing to do with it but it just seems so unfair. It adds a whole new level of heartbreak to this already very trying time.  This new baby is very bittersweet for my family and I just pray that one day soon we can have our own happy moment.  Thanks for listening to my sad story, baby dust to all!