I am posting anonymously so that no one tries to attack me.. My baby would've been a year old in February. I cannot begin to describe the shock and excitement I felt when I saw that first positive.... And then the second. I couldn't even think straight let alone speak! And then I told my SO (at the time)... And he wanted nothing to do with me. He told me he didn't want a child.... So I called my mother. She came and got me and I stayed with her and my grandma for the weekend... I sat down with them at my grandma's table and asked for their support and their opinions. My mother looked me right in the face and said I couldn't be a mother... My grandma was afraid of the situation and agreed that I should get an abortion.... I was completely devastated. The only people I could depend on shot me down.... I was heartbroken. I went back home and my boyfriend didn't want to be near me. He avoided me. I was so depressed! My mother called every single day and asked if I made the appointment to get an abortion and each time I told her no. I didn't want to..... I couldn't do that. I was in college at the time and slowly but surely my depression started to interfere with my schooling. I started to get lower grades... I started to not care.. and my mother was always there asking for an appointment date. Finally one day in-between classes my mother called me and told me SHE made the appointment for me... I was beyond devastated.. I was 15 and a half weeks at that time and starting to show.. I could not believe she would do that to her grandbaby. Everyone agreed with her. I was so depressed I started to believe that I couldn't be a mother... I had no support. How would I had done it? It was a very bad time for me.... Long story short she came and got me 2 days before the appointment and we had to drive to a different state because I was too far along for my home state. When it was all said and done I was 17 weeks and 2 days pregnant. And I remember every single second. I was forced into an abortion. I hate myself every single moment of every single day because I let them talk me into that. But I have moved on from that.. I am engaged to an incredible man that I will be marrying next year. He knows everything... I was so worried to tell him I wanted a baby because I didn't want him to think it was only because of the baby I lost. But he surprised me when HE asked if we could start trying. We've been trying since February (slightly ironic and I absolutely cried when he asked). Nothing so far and it's very upsetting but he is my rock. I'm hoping this is our month! I want to be able to give him the children he deserves. Thank you for reading this very long post.