talking myself out of it

When I get sad about not being able to conceive after 2 whole years of trying. I try to convince myself that I'm probably better off without a child because they're really hard to care for. I try to think of all the things that I wouldn't be able to do anymore like get up and go whenever I wanted or sleep in. But even after I think of all those things I get even more sad realizing that none of those things really matter to me and I know I'd rather be at home with my baby. It so hard for me to deal with. I need to know, what's it like having a child? Is it really really hard or does it come natural? I'm so scared that if it finally does happen I won't be a good mom or I'll regret it after I give birth and realize I don't deserve to have a child.