FW started yesterday, and I'm just not in the mood for it. every time we're close, my body seems to reject whatever is happening. early/severe period symptoms that lady for days. then period will start 2 days early. like the earliest of miscarriages. I'm tried of being disappointed. I know something is off, but I think it's my husband. my doctor has always told me there is nothing in my annuals that has her concerned. and it's too early to reconsult. only trying for 4 cycles in 6 mo after ending BC. my husband, on the other hand, hasn't seen a doctor the entire time we've been together. he hates doctors because he's obese and always feels judged. at the same time, he doesn't do anything to take care of himself unless I tell him. I hate being a nag. it's like I'm always yelling at him about something. but this? I haven't found the right words to tell him what I think, how I feel and what I want. I know something is off, and he doesn't seem to get it. he doesn't express any of this himself either. so I also haven't found a way to get him to communicate about serious stuff. I'm frustrated and upset. I want children, and I'm willing to pursue other options at some point. however, I'm going to be devastated if I can't carry my own child like I've always dreamed

/emotional rant