Got my hopes up once again convincing myself we've finally done it, very active peak week BD right before ovulation to be overjoyed by AF not turning up on 20th April to be 1 day late then 2 days late, for me to have a nap after work and wake up an hour later have a pee and blood come from me (not a lot tho) it's like she's standing by letting me daydream about being a parent finally letting me have a child of my own letting me come up with awesome ways to tell my partner and mum, I know for sure I'm a mum already I just don't have my baby yet, but to be late and then rip my whole world apart again is slowing killing my soul 😭😭😭😭😭 I always brace myself every month for failure because when I get my period I take it pretty bad, crying myself to sleep cursing every God under the sun for making it so hard to conceive and making the one job I know I've been put on this earth to do being a mother so damn hard but to let me be 2 days late its like she has a personal mark above my head to make my life a living nightmare, I'm sad for sure but at the minute I'm more mad, pissed off, angry, frustrated. the only way I can cope with it every month is to think of my period as a person that why I talk about it as a 'her' bcoz I think to myself one of these days I'm gonna meet that bitch and punch her face in for all the heartbreak she's caused me 😡😡😡😡😡 (sorry I sound like a crazy person) I know I'm just one small person out of millions who feel this way but when AF turns up for me I take it like a personal kick in the ribs