how to cop with leaving your man after years of building, trying to conceive with my PCOS

Why are all my topics painful? I've left my boyfriend for the 100th time but this time seems like we're over! After numerous attempts to try to be this woman for him I lost myself. I've been trying to conceive to make our bond stronger build on something even move out the hood. He cheated so many times an now there's another woman carrying a baby by him!!! OMG IDK WHAT TO DO.... I'm so lost an feel hurt. Long story short this issue with this other lady been goin on for awhile it even got to the point where she felt more entitled than me an wanted him so bad that she would call me private, fb me, mind you last October I caught him cheating again on me with her and ofcourse other randoms but she threw him in jail. Ofcourse I was there. Once again picking up the pieces. I held him down all the way an to think I'm struggling with fertility an I love this guy an he's about to have another child that isn't mines??!!! This is deep! I feel disrespected, betrayed, an so alone. The other day I caught him at the girls house and I just had it all. I packed his shit up after numerous attempt phone calls an having to sleep alone at night while he's sleeping with the enemy and explaining to her until 9:00 am of the reasoning to why his phone is going off. But When he came back to me at 9am his stuff was all packed up. But seems like this whole year trying to build with him has been a disaster! Seems like he's been pushing me away. Don't take me around his family anymore don't take me out don't even want to be bothered with me. I even tOld him that "it seems like your moving me out the way to make room for someone else" and ofcourse this baby will be a big reason for me to not be around any other family events!!! It's like I wanted to build this life with him but I see it being built with someone else. If not with this chick then with the next!!  Funny thing is he lied about where he'd been but was in such a rush to get out an go back to drugging and thuggin out in the streets  that he didn't even first apologize then next explain himself. I mean he didn't even try to act like he didn't want me to leave him. Iam better than that right??? I mean, all this. I will find someone to love me right?? I wanted to have a kid by someone I loved but after all this idk if I'll ever get that back... Will I ever have a child??!! Will I ever be happy?? I feel depressed  this is just painful...... What's good to eat to help with depression??!!