So I separated from my baby's father in November 4 months after having my son. I said i wouldn't date for a while until I was at a point in my life where I was able to take care of myself and my sons needs. (Buying a house, getting a better job.. etc).

I wanted no man to disrupt my plans. And more importantly to take time away from my son.

About a month or so ago I was just posting some things online and this guy reply to me. A total stranger. We started talking about everything and anything. 6 hours later we had exchange number and plan to keep talking.

A couple of weeks after we started talking he decided he wanted to meet. (He lives in VA I live in TX). I was reluctant about it. But after a while I said what the hell? What's the worse that can happen? Right?

Well this is the worse...

The day came before I knew it he was here. We met. And I really liked him.. not that I didn't know I liked him already from all our texts and calls and FaceTime over the phone.

I spend a whole weekend with him. Acting like a couple and having fun. I even brought my baby around. Now that! I didn't have planned. It just turn out to be I had no babysitter one of the days he was here.

Anyways.. the problem is. He didnt seem to reciprocate.

He was polite and charming. Nice and kind to me and my baby.

However he left and nothing was said. No "I really liked meeting you" or "I'll be sure to keep in touch" or anything else that would explain where this is going. Now maybe I'm overthinking it but I feel a big whole in my stomach from all the uncertainty.

I was fine before meeting him. I had a plan for me and my son. I was happy not having a man around and I was reclaiming my independence and my strong woman mentality of "I don't need a guy to be happy" or to help me raise my son.

Ever since he left I feel this emptiness. I wanna be hugged and kissed. I want someone there to make me laugh and to share my life with. I don't expect it to be this guy. I mean how often do you meet someone online and marry that person?

However, it made me realize I do want those things. And it angers me. I have a beautiful, smart, healthy baby that I can call mine. And i don't feel whole. I don't feel is enough. And as a mom it breaks my heart to say that.

ideas

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