In the beginning of this year, I broke up with my boyfriend who has been the first guy I've ever fell in love with. That was hard and now just about 4 months later and I still battle with my feelings to move on. 

My dad is in the military and he just got deployed again for a while and when he comes back I'll be out of the house and living on college campus. This was especially hard because I hate seeing my dad go.

I just received word that my grandmother is dying with no possible way for her to get better. She's been in the hospital for over 4 months and has undergone multiple surgeries. I hate to see her suffering but I don't want to lose her yet. I'm just about to get my Associates degree and I want her to be able to witness that as well as seeing my sisters graduate from high school. But I take comfort in the fact that she'll no longer be in pain and that she will be reunited with my grandfather again. 

I also got my first C ever in school. After completing high school with nearly all A's and my first 3 semesters of college with all A's this is like the topping on my shit cake of a year. It's probably irrelevant in all that has happened, but as a person who strives to achieve high in academics this is something that frustrates me. Also all my scholarships that I had since I finished high school are ending and now I need to look for more to finance my way through school without having to get a loan.  

I know I haven't been given things I couldn't handle. And I know I can handle them but right now I'm just not feeling strong enough to handle the stress and emotion of my situation. And then there's the stress that comes from work from coworkers that do the bare minimum. So I ask you lovely ladies for words of encouragement and prayers for my grandmother so that she may pass on as painlessly as possible. She's my sunshine and I'll miss her greatly.