Post natal depression

So yesterday I got diagnosed with post natal depression.. he gave me tablets bringing with C but I took my first one and have been constantly vomming all mornings now I feel like I can't take them!  I didn't think it was depression I just thought I was down. When she said post natal depression I all of a sudden felt like worlds worst mum. I felt like I've let me baby boy down! I immediately told the doctor that I love him I have bonded with him and actually he's one of the only happy things in my life, she said that that's a myth and yes people have trouble bonding and don't love there baby's but that's not post natal depression. I have been in a dark place for a very long time, I've forgotten who I am. I don't really remember the last time I was truly happy! And I know that sounds terrible seeing as I have a baby but he does make me happy I mean happy as in happy in life In myself it's not anyone else it's me! I hate who I am, I feel like I actually don't like the person I am, I say things I don't mean and I'm always angry I HATE it how my partner has coped with me is crazy but I'm greatfull he has! Has anyone had PND and did you take anything or what helped you?