I found out a few weeks ago that I was pregnant which by itself is enough to throw me for a loop because I'm only 16 and i can barely take care of myself, much less a baby. I went to a party almost 2 months ago, or however long ago spring break was and there were a lot of people I didn't know but my best friend invited me and he's social and knows people so I agreed to go. And I admit I had been drinking a little but it wasn't a lot, like 3 drinks and cuz i hadnt eaten anything before and I'm already a major lightweight so. But still after 2 wine coolers and a beer, I was done which is weird even for me. And my best friend was pretty drunk too so he wasn't gonna drive us home, (he's 18) so I just went and laid down somewhere and was fine. And the last thing I remember was being lead to bed by some really nice girl.

The next day I woke up next to my best friend and I was missing bottom clothes and then I freaked out cuz he's my best friend and if we had sex it would be crazy awkward afterwards. But I didn't remember sleeping with him and I doubtd he would cuz he was drunker than me so I didn't talk about it.

My period did not come this month and it was due at the very beginning and that's when I started to lose my mind so i got a test asap and it came back positive. From that point on, my whole world has shattered. I went to my best friend and told him and he was acting all surprised like when did this happen and who did you sleep with and all that and i was like wym it was you and we argued for a few minutes and he assured me that we didn't have sex, he just crawled into bed with me in a drunken stupor, and also fell asleep. And I believe him.

But now I have to come to terns with the fact that I had sex with someone who I don't know and they have impregnated me. Some person who took advantage of me at a party, me, a girl they didn't know and who surely didn't say yes because I know that I slept for the whole night. Someone who has violated me and taken my body as their own and left me with their mistake growing inside me. And I feel so disgusting and impure and ashamed and embarrassed and scared and angry and every emotion you can feel for something like this. And I feel guilty because I resent the person growing inside me for being a constant reminder of what that person did to me. I can't escape the constant thoughts of what if I hadn't done this or whatever because I know I'm at fault for going and for drinking and for sleeping at some random persons house and allowing myself to be in that position.

And I've already decided that I can't keep it because it would only give me a lot of emotional pain. My reputation at school would forever be gone and I can't take care of it and its the child of my rapist and my mind is made up. I didn't come here for sympathy or advice or anything. I just wanted to share my story and encourage other girls out there in my position know that whatever you choose to do, abortion, adoption, or raising the baby, you aren't wrong and you are strong and beautiful women and I know that everything will work out.

Sending good vibes to everyone ☺