Cant do it anymore!!!

My last friend just announced her pregnancy. She didn't want it. She still lives with her mom and depends on her for just about everything. She is happy and unhappy about the pregnancy. I am happy for her, but I am so torn apart. Why can't I join my friends in motherhood?! I am sitting here at work trying to not ball my eyes out! I just can't do this in one piece anymore!! I am so heart broken!! 💔💔💔💔💔😭😢