confused and pissed off

I'm tired I think I'm going to give up on this journey that I have been for the last 10-12 yrs I feel very pissed off, angry and tired of either having miscarriages or not even getting a bfp. Look what happened to me on Monday took a test it was positive then I took another one today and now it is negative by Friday next if my period don't come I'm headed back to the doctor cuz I'm 3 days late... I pray every day but nothing... is this an evap line?