April 25th i found out we were expecting my first 3rd child my so 1st child ,we was so excited ,so happy ,we told everyone ,i woke up every morning on a natural high thats how excited i was to be pregnant,i joined every pregnancy group on this app ...may 7th i was rushed to the hospital due to having extreme pain but i had so much hope because i wasnt bleeding i thought it was just the uterus stretching pain ...i had my ultrasound and the tech would not give me any news on how the baby was doing but as we were doing the ultrasound he accidently turned the volume up and i heard my baby heart beat i looked at him and i said thats my baby heart beat? My baby is alive ? He said the doctor will explain to u whats going on ...i said okay why cant u tell me he said im sorry i cant diagnose you,so he brought me back to my room and i went to the bathroom as i was returning back to my room i over heard the doctor said ectopic pregnancy,i ran back to the room crying shouting at my sister telling her its an etopic pregnancy i told her i over heard the doctor say it she said no they was proably talking about somebody else so the doctor walked in and said im so sorry ,its an etopic pregnancy,at that very moment i began to drip blood all over the floor as i wasnt bleeding when i got their ,he gave me two options i keep the baby and i die or i terminate the pregnancy and also remove the right tube he checked my cervix and told me i didnt have long enough to make a decision my tube was abrupting as we speak ...my so finally made it to the hospital and together we made the hardest decision ,it was to terminate the pregnancy ,i prepped for surgery and we laid in bed and talked to my stomach,prayers belly rubs kisses and apologies to the baby...they let us see the ultrasounds and let us hear the heart beat at 110bpm ...i was 8 weeks pregnant...they wheeled me to surgery and my so stopped them and said wait let me kiss my baby and tell it i love it one more time ,he bended down and gently kissed my stomach twice and whispered i love you this is messed up im sorry ,i was crying uncontrollably by than ...making that decision to terminate my own baby i feel worthless ,im home on bed rest for a month my so is a great help he bathes me feed me dresses me combs my hair and put me back in bed and help me take my medicine ...i just need some support some encouraging words ,words cant explain how i feel ,iwant my baby ...why me?why us?how do we Heal ,im empty ,i miss my baby ...