Finally saying it out loud.

Mere 🍄 • 26; PhD student; wife; fur mom; hoooooosier
(Or writing it, at least). 
I'm officially struggling with infertility. 
It's been something on the back of my mind since the moment I decided to start TTC. With every month and every period that has come, the thought/worry of infertility became louder and louder. Here we are, 12 months later and it's official. 
My husband and I sat down to come up with our next game plan. Things we can ask my doctor at my annual visit later this month. When we should start looking for fertility specialists (and what can we afford?). 
We also talked about the feeling that comes with infertility. This feeling that you know there is something inherently wrong with your body. It's broken. It can't do the most natural thing it was designed to do. Everyone around you gets worried when they haven't gotten pregnant by their second month. Or they are on their second and third babies. They can plan the season they want to have their kids. 
I'm announcing this for the first time to strangers, some of whom are going through similar worries, emotions, and experiences. I don't know when, if, or how I'll talk to family or friends about it at this point. 
The best thing my husband said last night as I cried in his arms: "I didn't marry you because I expected you to be able to have kids. That's not important to me. I married you because you are amazing and I want to spend the rest of my life with YOU. If we have kids, that's a plus." ❤