My ex and I had dated for over a year, and he was the one I lost my virginity to. He was my first kiss, first everything, and first serious relationship. Him and I broke up almost 3 months ago, and we broke up because he had constantly lied to me and broke promises and hurt me, so after over a year of it, I got tired of it, and I broke up with him...but I can't get over him. I want him back, but my family and friends would not be happy with me...they hated him the whole time I dated him. Him and I have started talking almost every day for the past week now, because he texts me about stupid stuff. I tried blocking him several times on everything, but I always end up unblocking him because I just can't stand knowing that I still love him and I blocked him...I still have dreams about him and I, and I always wake up crying from them. The dreams have gotten so bad lately that I haven't been sleeping at all throughout the night because I want to avoid having the dreams. He also texts me to brag to me about the new girl he is talking to, and it kills me, but I always tell him that I want him to do whatever makes him happy. I want him to do whatever makes him happy, but when I see he is happy with another girl, it just tears me apart. He was supposed to move a few states away a couple of days ago, but later the day that he was supposed to leave, he texted me and told me he couldn't leave because of me. He didn't want to leave me because it tore me apart when we broke up, and he said it would be even worse for me if he left. Which, of course him saying that I was the reason he didn't leave, it definitely affected me. It made me feel like maybe there was a little hope for us again, but then later that night, he told me he actually stayed because of the girl that he's talking to. He told me he was joking when he told me that he didn't leave because of me. Which of course, hurt me even more. I still love this boy with all of my heart, but I know that we will never be together again...