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Very serious, graphic event. Discretion advised.

Boy howdy. Never thought I'd tell anyone here this.

GRAPHIC PART IS AFTER DOTTED LINE

I'm terrified of postpartum depression. Why? Because my family is crazy and suicide is pretty normal here. I'm apart of a very military and church family. One of my uncles is a pastor. No one acts weird or depressed then next thing you know they kill themselves. This happens very often. My mom killed herself, my grandma killed herself, my great uncle killed himself, and those are just the ones that were close to me.

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My aunt was completely fine til she had her kid. Then while her husband was napping in their bed with the baby, she set the bed on fire and they both died. She killed herself afterwards.

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GRAPHIC PART IS OVER

I've always felt normal. I'm happy in life. I've always been depressed and I don't take meds or anything because I believe I've got a good handle on life. But I'm terrified of postpartum depression. I'm so scared. I don't want to change like that. But I also don't want to tell anyone because I'm scared they'll think I'm unfit to be a mother. I'm scared if I told the doctors, my kid would be taken from me if I turn out to be normal. I don't know what to do....

Here we go. Holding my breath and hitting the "Done" button.

Edit: If I ever felt like I was a threat, I would get help immediately.

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