vagina growing a penis ??? hahah!

Okay so I'm 12dpo and I'm praying this is my month (4 1/2 years trying) af due 12.5.17 
I have a white lotion cm medium not heavy but my vagina feels like it's been blown up 😂 its swollen in and out my clit looks like something it's popping out hahah (a bit like a little penis hahah) its also purple in colour oh says looks like someone has sat and flicked it repeatedly 🙈🤣 while travelling today I've felt very nauseas and have had headaches for 2 days ... please someone tell me that this is a good sign that I could have my rainbow baby 
I also did a ovulation test today with fmu and it had 2 line clearly but test line was not darker that control line so technically it was a negative test :) 
Thanks in advance :D