Not wanting to plan a wedding I don't want?

To my fiancé and I, we own a home together, have a son, have lived together for 4 years, been together 6, all of that. To us it seems silly to have a huge wedding when we've already got our lives set up how we like.

If anything we'd go to the courthouse with a $99 dress and $160 tux and a barbecue after.

That could be done in the next year.

His mother is not having it.

She wants church, officiant, bridesmaids, grooms men, rehearsals, wedding shower, bachelor/ette parties, bridal party, trying on dresses, wants me to wear her dress (she was a size c cup, I'm at least a G), she wants her whole family invited +300 (people I haven't even met), professionally catered, dj, bartenders,....

So many things that we don't want, nor can we just throw money on when we have a young son and need to save as much as we can for him to have a good life.

I just want to stop planning anything and wait a few years and just say fuck it because if we're not getting what we want on our wedding day, what's the point? She's not paying for it.

The only reason she feels like she can make demands is that she could pass any time now and no one wants to stress her out. She's already got her dream wedding from her eldest son and they went thousands of dollars into debt to have it like everyone expects a wedding.

By the time we saved up enough money without taking anything from our sons normal savings amount that we put in monthly, we will be trying for another child.

Just seems pointless and I'm losing hope that I'll ever actually be married.