In 2014 my husband and I lost our first baby (a boy) at 18 weeks. We later found out that a premature rupture of membranes was the cause of it, and I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix. The baby was completely healthy and already looked like his father, my body just failed him. 

In 2015, 2 days after our first baby's "due date", I found out I was pregnant. Losing a child steals the joy of seeing those two pink lines and replaces is with fear and anxiety. Thankfully though, the doctors watched us very closely. Towards the end of the first trimester I started spotting and was put on pelvic rest because of what the doctors called a "threatened miscarriage". My cervix was checked every two weeks and they started me on weepy progesterone (p17) injections. All of a sudden my cervix began thinning, then funneling. Finally the doctor ordered a cervical cerclage, which is a stitch on the cervix that is suited to prevent it from funneling/thinning anymore. They admitted me to the hospital for 10 days on bed rest and kept me under a close eye. Finally, at 39 weeks and 2 weeks after they cut the stitch, I begged them to induce me because I was terrified of a stillbirth. They understood and in December 2015 I had a healthy 8lbs 12oz baby boy. The cerclage, progesterone injections, and God are the only reasons I have a healthy 1.5 year old today. 

In December 2016, I found out I was pregnant again. Two chorionic hematomas caused me to miscarry only a few weeks later. 

I really just needed to share with someone who understands, so thank you for reading. I'm here if anyone needs to talk. 

Here's to a happy & healthy 9 months mamas and babies💕