You know what I'm talking about. You and the significant other gets intimate, and you're going at it. You're loving it, he's loving it, enough to make you question why you don't have sex 24/7. You're wanting more and he's giving it, thrusting harder and wider as you grip, scratch and moan.

And somewhere, it messes up. Maybe you move wrong, or he forgets he isn't as well endowed as he thinks. But his little toy soldier hops out your penis fly trap for only a millisecond, only for it to stab into your taint. You gasp and push away from his penis and he groans because, despite having no bones, his little dude feels snapped.

This is a horrible experience - you were just having fun, and now you're both in pain. "At least it wasn't anal" one of you say jokingly, then you look at each other and quietly giggle.

I can't laugh about that tonight. It became anal. Brief, one pump anal, but fucking lord that was enough. I want to die, y'all. I feel like I need some Preparation H and an ice pack. Everything burns.

Pray for ya girl