Before I got pregnant I was skinny, had tons of "friends" (I use that word lightly because I mean once you have a baby you find out who your real ones are..) I got to go out and do whatever I wanted when I wanted and I loved it. When I found out I was pregnant I was happy I immediately quit smoking cigarettes, quit drinking, going out like I used to, and started taking extra good care of my body. Throughout pregnancy it was hard for me to see all the changes a woman's body goes through carrying a baby because well..I was only 21 and nowhere near ready for a baby. But weather your 16 or 39 no one is ever truly ready to be a mom. There's nothing that can fully prepare you for that responsibility. My mother and I have a great relationship now but when I was growing up and needed her most she was nowhere to be found. When I found out I was going to be a mom I wanted nothing more that to give my baby everything. And now that she's born that's all I'm trying to do. Give her the best life possible and love her unconditionally. I know what everyone means when they say you'll never love anyone like you love your baby. It's amazing the way it feels. And I am so proud and honored I get to be this sweet little baby girls mommy. So when I say I'm depressed it's in no way has to do with being her mommy because there's nothing else I'd rather be and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm just depressed because my body looks nothing like it used to and I can actually count rolls on my stomach and sides that we're never there before, I'm depressed because my boyfriends mom is acting like it's her turn to raise another baby and won't leave me alone, because everything I do feels like it's never good enough, because although I eat healthy and work out my body doesn't want to change or give me any feeling of confidence, because my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful ever single day and I cry because I just can't believe it, because it feels like now I'm not enough for him because I'm depressed, because sometimes when I need to get something done I never get the chance to because I have a fussy baby I need to take care of first, I don't know where I'm going with this or if anyone can even help but I just had to write it down 💔