I need motivation

Lulu
So I started taking pills for depression anxiety and bipolarity disorder.... well I used to weigh 145 and now I weigh 171. I started birth control and that made it even worse I have had my period for two months and all I get from my mom is your fat you have stretch marks... all she does is make me feel terrible about my self. I have tried to commit suicide before but it didn't work. I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel terrible. I feel fat. And memories of me being molested when I was younger are coming back. People think I just want attention but that's not what it is. I don't have the strength to fight this anymore. 😞