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Dear Whoever: (TRIGGER WARNING)

(I did post this in another group but saw this group and thought I'd share my letter I wrote to the man who raped me... I lost the baby 2 years ago as of today... so I'm really hurting right now)

I'm probably one of many; a little speck on your radar. I bet you barely remember my screams as you did the unthinkable. Was I your first? You seemed nervous. I was young, naive and only fourteen.. i barely even knew what sex was. I barely knew what you were doing. All I knew is that you were hurting me, and I wanted it to stop. I begged, pleaded even. I thought you were going to kill me. I thought I was going to die.

What's so fun about holding a girl captive as she screams and struggles. As you take each drop of her self confidence and innocence away with every god damn thrust. You break her. So badly she resorts to taking a razor blade across her skin. Having her boyfriend make 3 am runs to her house to make sure she didn't kill herself. Taking her to the ER. Did you know her mother didn't care about her? That her mom hit her? No probably not. But you didn't care did you?

When you finished and left me alone in that campground bathroom stall I sunk down and cried. I wailed for I thought it was my fault. I wailed as I tried to clean up your evidence. Your sweat, your sperm, your scent was on me and I couldn't get it off. I wanted to rip off my skin. Did you know in that campground I felt safe? I learned in that moment I had been raped. Something I never thought would happen to me. I wasn't that type of girl.

But you fucking raped me. At three in the morning. When I innocently went in my dinosaur onsie to go to the washroom. And after all that, I didn't even get to see your face. You wrecked a young girls life. My life. And I didn't even see your fucking face. You're a coward. And for all I know you could've been the guy who lent my family the can opener the next day..

You'll never read this, never know my pain. But I hope you ought to know your secret is safe with me. After all, I couldn't catch you. I washed away your evidence and my bruises cleared up. Oh and one more thing: you were at one point going to be a father. But I lost it. So not only did you rape and impregnate me... you gave me hope that after your actions things could be okay. MY baby gave me hope, that one was thanks to you.

I was 8 weeks and miscarried. I was planning an abortion anyways. But i wanted it, i just didn't want it to enter a shitty life with a shitty parent and no father, just a sperm donor.

I have no proof that your raped me. No evidence. I burned that onsie. One I had begged for months for. I washed you off my skin, along with the rest of my evidence. I never let anyone know. Even though I could feel the bruises on my thighs. After all they were black and blue. But it's okay, I was wearing pants so it didn't matter.

Now one last question for you.

Are you even human?

Sincerely,

That girl.

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