just ended it.

I needed to post this somewhere. I did what I had to do for me. I ended my five year relationship because I wasn't happy and I was tired of trying to make me happy. The first four years sucked because he was an ass and abusive. The last year of the relationship he was a saint. He basically did no wrong. But I wasn't into it anymore. I have love for him I always will but I wasn't happy. He say there on the phone with me trying to convince me not to do it. But nothing he could say or do would change my mind. I knew what I wanted and I decided to do it. But why do I feel broken. Why do I feel like shit? I feel like my heart is in a million pieces. I feel the world around me has shattered. I feel numb. I keep telling myself I did this for me. I did this for my sanity. But I feel like I just lost a part of my. Why? What does it feel like this?