My mom goes through men.
So my mom goes through husbands like they're shoes... When one gets worn out, she replaces 'em for a (not so shiny) new pair. Her first husband was a cheat. Her second husband was an alcoholic. Her third husband (my dad) was a manic-depressive sociopath. Her fourth husband was an iron-fisted control freak, and her fifth husband was just an all-around clingy, hovering, jealous WEIRDO. That's a lot of freakin husbands, and here I am... Newly married in November for the very first (and ONLY!) time at the age of 35. I guess I just always had a fear of marriage growing up (my only view of it growing up was that it was a dysfunctional institution), and so I avoided it like the plague. That is, until I met my husband and realized through this wonderful man that marriages CAN be healthy, I'd just never had an example of one before. When my mom divorced her last husband, for the very first time in MY life, I saw her truly happy. On her own, I saw her bloom into this wonderful, independent woman who was finally living her life for HER, not pretending to be whatever her current husband wanted her to be. I realized then that I never really KNEW my mom, as she was always putting on an act to please whoever she was with at the time. I also realized that at the age of 69, I don't think she truly knew HERSELF, and it was awesome to see her finally start to develop who SHE was. That is until she met her latest husband: an 80-something, rich PERVERT. They only dated for a few weeks when the "marriage" word started to get thrown around. I saw my mom change again into a different person, and I begged her not to make another mistake. This creep had felt me up multiple times (disguising his groping as a casual hug- I'm not stupid! I know when a man is feeling up my breasts or "accidentally" touching me inappropriately), and so I told my mother point blank that if she married this molester she would regret it. She brushed me off, saying he would never intentionally touch my breasts, and her excuse was that he wasn't raised in this country (he's from England), so he was just a touchy-feely kind of guy. I'm sorry, but I've visited England and my brother lives there, and I know for a fact this isn't a "cultural" thing... She was just making excuses for him. They continued to date off and on for a few more months, and every time they were OFF again, she'd swear up and down it was over... Yeah right! Every time they'd get back together I would try talking some sense into her by explaining that this on-again, off-again stuff wasn't healthy & that it was a sign it wouldn't make for a healthy marriage. She didn't listen, and behind my back went & married this douche. She didn't even tell me she had gotten married until AFTER the fact because she KNEW I would disapprove. I tried to put my "you'll regret it" additude aside & be happy for her (I felt that's what I was SUPPOSED to do as a supportive daughter), but then 3 weeks into the marriage, she calls me, says I was right & she's getting an annulment... FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!! If she would have just LISTENED to me (and her own freakin HEART), she could have saved herself all this BS, but apparently she likes learning the hard way. I'm at the point where I'm just DONE! Since she's kicked him out, he's been over multiple times trying to dissuade her, and I just know she's going to make another mistake. I love my mom with all my heart, but I feel like if she continues to put herself in shitty situations & ignoring everyone's good advice, I just can't be supportive anymore. I know that sounds terrible, but I just truly feel there's a bigger issue going on here, and one that is beyond my control. I feel she has some MAJOR co-dependency issues & doesn't know who she actually is. I feel therapy would be helpful, but I don't know how to tell her she needs major help with her emotional issues and poor decision making. What should I do??
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