I might be Ace but I'm in a relationship
Exploring the possibility that I may be on the ace spectrum but I'm in a very long term committed relationship. Even though he's said to me before that he thinks I might be ace because he's noticed the same things I have he seems to be completely blocking it out. I was amazed when I found out there was a spectrum of being ace. It's not just all or nothing, there's some middle ground, some people who are like me and do get sexually attracted to people- just not very often. When I told him about it he said "Yeah there is a spectrum if you're stupid. In the real world you either are something or you're not."
I couldn't believe my ears. He's my best friend and we love each other. I was expecting acceptance and help exploring the possibilities that maybe I'm not 100% normal. But he shut it down so quickly.
I'm just reeling. And I'm scared. Sex is really important to him, especially as a way for him to show his affection. I'm worried that his desire for sex in our relationship is going to drive us apart if he sees my being ace as an issue. I never even suggested we stop having sex!
I'm just really scared and incredibly lonely right now. We've just moved to a new area and I've got no one else around but him.
It's just hard because we've been together for so long and it's not like I could have warned him then that this would happen. It wasn't something we discussed when laying the grounds for our relationship. I feel guilty for not wanting sex as much as he does. I'm scared to tell him that I have to force myself a lot to get things started sexually.
He's already insecure and maybe he'll think I just need the right person and then I'll be more sexual. He's said it before.
I just don't know what to do, I don't even know any ace people I could talk to about this! Am I? Aren't I? I don't know but I'm very hurt to be shut down by my partner.
Comment
Add Comment
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
