By Tuesday evening, I was feeling the contractions again as the medication has worn off, so the anesthesiologist comes in to top me off, which lasted a bit longer but I could still feel the pain.  The nurses came in all through the night to turn me and flip me and move my belly around because the baby had begun to be distressed from all the activity and trying to come into the birth canal.  By early Wed AM, I had only dilated to a 7, and my babies heart was starting to decelerate.  The nurses were worried, and came into the room frantically trying to place me in a better position to stabilize her heartbeat.  At this time I start feeling the contractions full blown back to back with no break and I am crying in pain.  They bring in another anesthesiologist who gives me something that makes me freak out ! It numbed me from eyebrows to toes, I couldn’t feel myself breathe, swallow or cough.  It put me into a panic.  

I tried to push, but I couldn’t feel anything at all and baby girl was not being patient.  Next thing I know I am being rushed into the OR, and all I could say was where is my husband? He had gone to get food, which I didn’t know and I didn’t see him and it was the scariest feeling in the world.  I was in a real haze as they prepped me for surgery and my doctor ran in and started working immediately and Jordan made it in the room just in time to sit at my side as they made an incision from hip to hip to pull my baby girl from my body.  I saw them move her to to the back of the room, and yelled for him to go with her, and at that moment I felt the excruciating pain of the doctor trying to stitch me back together.  I heard her cry and I completely lost it, crying and thanking God for bringing her into the world safely.  The doctor pushed more drugs into me but I could still feel it, so I guess they decided to knock me out because the next thing I know I am waking up in the recovery room, and I look over to my left to see my husband with his shirt off holding our beautiful daughter.  I was overcome with emotion and was in tears all over again.  

I finally got to hold my baby about 1 hour after she was born and am thankful my husband had the opportunity to bond with our baby in her first hour of life.  This was a long, hard and scary road and quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and as I sit here and look at our daughter, the ultimate gift every bit of it was worth it.  Every pain, every test, every needle, every tear, every dollar.  She is perfect beyond belief and we are forever changed by her birth. We will never forget the ones we lost, but they will always live on in the one we have, and we will hug her that much tighter and hold her that much closer.