eating disorder recovery

-You aren't your jean size. Jeans ARE NOT YOU. 

-People dont notice your body as much as you think. Just the same way people didn't think much of your weight loss, they won't think anything of the gain. And if they do (most likely these people will be close family), they'll be so relieved you're getting healthy. 

-with fat comes tits 

-with fat comes an ass 

-recovery is hard (yet delicious) work. Just take that shit day by day. Don't think about tomorrow's meals or the cake you might have to eat next week. Don't think about future weigh-ins. It's like raking leaves. If you look at the whole leaf-filled yard you're gonna go "holy shit, these are a lot of leaves" and freak out because of all the work you need to put in. But if you put your head down and just focus on one little bit of leaves at a time, it will feel so much less overwhelming. 

-GO THROUGH YOUR CLOSET AND NEVER TRYON/KEEP CLOTHS THAT WONT FIT YOUR BODY AT A HEALTHY BMI. I DONT CARE HOW CUTE YOUR MINI SKIRT IS!!! IF THAT FABRIC DONT GIVE, IT WONT HELP YA LIVE. 

-Don't. Do. Drugs. 

-okay you can smoke weed as long as you have some killer munchies on hand. 

-read books of fiction. They put you in a whole new world. 

-don't go on instagram for a while.

-when you start working out again (I found it super helpful in recovery), cover up calories burnt on your machines/don't look up how many you've burnt. Working out is about making your body strong, not skinny. 

-it's fine to have goals for your body. It's natural. Do two things: only let these goals be things that will help you. I.e: a thigh gap serves ZERO purpose. It doesn't make you stronger/healthier. However, aiming for quads that can press 160 ibs is a cool goal to have because you're getting stronger! 

-when you are allowed to pick your own food, pick what you want. It will be tempting to pick the lowest calorie option. Someday you'll regret all those salads without dressing. You'll regret not ordering food you only had one chance to get (like when traveling/visiting funky restaurants). Cut to the chase and get unique foods and try new things. Your inner foodie (we all have one) will thank you. 

-shopping can be hard. Pick who you shop with wisely but don't do it alone. 

-find pictures of your sickness. Pictures where your arms look like twigs, your tits are tiny, you see bones sticking out (basically any extreme anorexia traits). Don't romanticize these pictures or these times. Take these pictures and don't look at them until you are farther into recovery. When your mind is healthy and strong enough: look. I PROMISE you that you will see nothing but your disease. You will wonder why you ever did this to your body and spirit. You will regret the weight loss and be thankful for the gain. You will wish you could yell at yourself and say "that thigh gap would never equate to happiness". You may cry for yourself. You'll wonder how you ever thought you were anything short of beautiful. You'll see how your body looked to others instead of through anorexic eyes. 

-if you take pictures of your body throughout recovery, you will look at them right after you take them and cry/be disappointed/have anxiety over the way you look. You will think you look fat and gross. You'll look at these same pictures when you're fully recovered and think "what was I thinking? I looked great"