what the actual fuck..

About two weeks ago I found out my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) had been cheating on me for over 3 months. I swear to god nobody would have ever thought he'd do that.. Anybody who knew him KNEW he was not that kind of person. He was even labeled as "the loyal boyfriend" by almost everyone. I  laughed at first because of how unbelievable the truth was. I put my whole heart, world, and dedication to this man and turns out he had been lying to me this whole time?? This boy was my best friend. We'd been together for almost a year and I literally spent everyday with him. He was like one of my girl friends, I'd gossip to him and he'd listen to all my dumb and irrelevant stories. I've been crying nonstop for 2 weeks and I haven't eaten either. When someone that special and close to you just disappears it's hard to cope, it's 100% like having your life's meaning just taken away for no reason. It's like, you do your absolute best to be an amazing girlfriend, you love you care you keep him fighting for his dreams, you smile because you see how successful he's becoming. How much he's growing. Sometimes when you do good it's not always returned. People are either blessings or lessons, but never say anyone was a waste of time. This person was just a lesson.

 I'm staying home right now because I've been coming down with fevers almost every day. My heart is so fucking broken. If anyone else has gone through something like this then you know how it feels.. makes u feel totally worthless. Yes I'm at my worst right now, but I know things will get better and I'm pushing through. Stay strong ladies❤️ the future only gets better.