My Fiancé Isn't Going To My D&C Appointment

Ni

Ni
So I scheduled my D&C for Friday. I told my fiancé last week which day was he off this week so I can schedule it on a day he can go. I scheduled it for a day he's actually off. He then told me he can't go because he has stuff to do that morning. I didn't ask him to rearrange his plans I simply just said okay because I'm hurt and heartbroken that he wouldn't make it his priority to be there for me. I can't even tell him how upset I am that he's not going. I'm so hurt I can't even speak to him much right now. I'll probably never forgive him. I'm really scared and I don't know what to expect because I've never had one before and with him not being there just makes it worse. I'm so hurt to the point I feel it in the pit of my chest. It sucks 😞
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COMMENT (6)

VH

Posted at
He's showing you who he is. Believe him and break up. If he can't be there for you in the worst of times then you can't depend on him in the best of times.

Ni

Ni • May 31, 2017
I honestly said this same thing to myself . 😞

Ni

Posted at
I had to get a D&C while my fiancé was working across the country (I was 12 weeks). I feel like he could have taken time off to come with me, but I didn't really stress it. My sister came with me instead. I needed some support and was so glad that she stepped up. This did end up putting strain on my relationship with my fiance. I felt like he didn't understand what I was going through, or that he wasn't hurt by losing our baby that we tried for 11 months to conceive. That was in August 2016, we ended up taking time away from each other for about a month and each seeking therapy on our own. We're now expecting a baby in September and have worked through the friction that was caused by him not coming with me to my D&C. He's super regretful and it still hurts him that he wasn't there to fully support me when I needed him. I don't think he realized how traumatic it would be. I would be honest with your fiancé and tell him you need him there. This situation effects everyone differently, but, like me, it could cause a problem in your relationship if he's not there to support you. Good luck! 

B.

Posted at
Is it possible he doesn't know how important it is to you? If it's huge, make sure he understands that it's a big deals. You really need to spell stuff like this out for some guys. Also, if they're putting you under for this, he needs to drive you and should be there when you wake up from the anesthesia. 

Co

Posted at
Honestly Hun he really needs to go. It is a very sad and stressful situation. Be prepared they will ask you if you want to have your baby cremated, have a burial or for lack of a better term "dispose". He may just be hurt and not want to be there for it but this decision is something you both have to agree on and be there for one another. Praying for comfort for you both and sending big hugs. 

Ni

Ni • May 31, 2017
I understand he's upset as well. But I need him. We didn't announce the pregnancy because we wanted to wait until we were sure that it was healthy so nobody else knows but us so I can't take anyone else with me you know? But I may have to ask someone else to come along just to get me there and back. I feel like I'm being put last.