I feel so angry seeing other girls I'm friends with pregnant now. This one girl in particular we were pregnant with our daughter at the same time. Our daughters a close friends like their dads. This will be their 5th kid (he has 2, she had 1 & 1 together) I just don't get how you can have so many kids. I want that but I don't get how they can handle 5. I feel selfish for not having 3. I feel anger that all I want to do is the right thing but all I want is that little baby, the first bump pictures, more sonograms. All I want is to have that again & I don't know if I will ever be in a place to have another baby after having another abortion.