I've been seriously depressed for a while now. My boyfriend doesnt even know it either. I used to go to college in another state (2.5hours away) and I made great friends! But i also started dating a guy from my home town (who's younger than me) about the same time. He and i had a lot of problems, mostly my fault for doing things completely crappy of a girlfriend to do, and we fought constantly. Our main issue was that i was a state away and too far to drive. I got pretty depressed up there and later started drifting from the original group of friends i made. I later found out that really, those weren't my friends. And I got even more depressed. Then come to the end of my first semester (about a month before it ended) i made up my mind to move closer to home to attend college to be closer to my boyfriend. Then, i made a friend that I got super close with. She's basically my other half! Well, everything was already set and I moved back home when winter break came around. Long story short i dropped out of college over that break too. Now I'm doing online courses and my boyfriend and I are doing great. He lives with me now and we have our ups and downs like anyone, but mostly we're great. But i miss my friend. I applied to a college in a different state to get away from my hometown. I have ABSOLUTELY no friends here and I am extremely lonely. I feel bad because I have my boyfriend, but I miss my friend. I miss being independent, i miss being the girl i was up there. I'm really depressed over this and i feel guilty for feeling this way. I figured my boyfriend would be enough, but it's just something bothering me. I miss my friend, i miss my college, i miss my freedom, i miss who i was up there. I was depressed up there though too. So i don't know why I am feeling this way.