I was 13 years old.During that time i had just fully recovered from being molested by my mothers ex husband and i guess you could say it scarred me fir life even though i dont show it.During this time i was open to letting guys manipulate me into doing sexual things with them or letting them do sexual things to me.It made me feel so disgusted and i still regret it to this day.But there was this one day i was on facebook and i came across this guy i went to school with sometime during middle school that i had a crush on.during that time my self esteem was as low as ever and i didnt really feel that pretty and my mom was still buying me clothes and doing my hair that made it seem like i was still 5 and it was soo embarrassing.and he was cute and i didnt think he would even talk to me but i inboxed him and he responded and i told him i use to like him and he told me why did i never day anything and i told him i dont know because i didnt think he would like me and he told me i didnt know that and i was cute .So one day he wanted to meet up with me and we could talk and get to know each other better and become boyfriend and girlfriend but it didnt turn out anything like that.when we finally met up he took me behind and abandoned house and start kissing and fingering me .he tried to pull my pants off but i told him to stop then he told me if i sucked his dick he would make me his girlfriend and being the gullible idiot that i was being easy to manipulate because of what i had already been through i did it .he took a video of it and everything .when i tried to stop he would grab my hair and force me to keep going.once it was over i went home and pretended like nothing even happened.and came the next day i saw that he blocked me and i was so scared because i remembered he took a video of me and i thought he was going to expose me but i thank god he didnt .i regret that still to this day .when i turned 16 i met a guy who changed my view of relationships completely.he was the best thing that ever happened to me .when we first started dating he was always honest about his past and the kind of girls he dealt with in the past but when it came time for me to talk about my past i said nothing.he asked me had i gave head or had sex with any other guy before him and i said no.i felt like such an idiot.what happened to me as a kid being molested by my mothers ex husband really had me letting guys sexually manipulate me when i was younger.i wasnt letting guys pass me around but every guy that i liked that talked to me i would always have some type of sexual contact with them but never let any of them go inside me except one guy i dated before the boyfriend i have now.thats one thing that still haunts me to this day and i sometimes feel like a slut because i had the ability to not let guys manipulate me but i was weak and stupid. 😢...if my boyfriend knew about even half if my past he wouldnt even trust me anymore or even look at me the same .im wiser and more mature now but being that i hid all that from him he would think i was still doing it or cheating on him .i cant take back my past but i have become stronger and more wise to not let those same things happen again