Hi all, after an illness and a scare, and a heap of grief I seemed to have got to a point where I really "get" that this may not happen. Every holiday for eighteen months had been designed around a pregnancy and/or baby, now I can see it may actually always just be those we have now. We are still trying, but I am almost not interested. I mean I really am, but the torment is gone, or diminished. Is this happening to anyone else on the list trying for longer...? I couldn't have imagined being accepting and ok six months ago. I guess possible death seems a) incongruent with new life and b) scary (I will almost certainly be fine with my health).