Need to talk


I'm sorry this doesn't deal with anything on here but I don't have anyone besides my husband to REALLY talk to at the moment and I can't him because it'll make me feel selfish. It's very long, just a warning.

Friday we went on an overnight canoe trip down a 15 mile stretch of river. About 5/6 miles into it we ran into a tree along the bank and I STUPIDLY grabbed onto one of the branches and caused the canoe to flip. I went first and the current was super strong so it kept pulling me under and farther from my husband. It took me a good while to actually be able to stay above the water because every time I'd try to grab a branch to hold on to it'd break And I'd get sucked in again. Finally got it and we slowly began our way to the next little beach. I ended up getting stuck between a giant log in the river and the canoe with the current pushing the canoe onto me. Thankfully my husband was able to push the canoe off enough for me to slide down the log. Again the current started taking me but I found footing once the water went down a little bit. We made it safely to the next sand bank,called the police who called the company we were with, and they came and we had to paddle to a rescue point which I couldn't do so ended up sitting in the canoe crying. We're good except for some bad bruising and I have bad cuts and some stomach problems but still safe. The only things we lost were junk things really.

But now, 2 days later, I'm still just not okay. My body is constantly tensed up, I'm scared all the time and don't want my husband to be away from me. I'm not happy. I'm not hungry. I cry any time I think of it. I couldn't even make it over a bridge that had a lot of water and trees on it without crying (And I've gone over this bridge many many times before). What do I do? I want to be normal again. There are things I need to do like chores and studying and stuff but I go to do it and I just don't see the point in it and can't really focus on it. I just need some advice if anyone has any?