I just want to feel loved by my mom, why can't she just listen to me and make me feel like I mean soemthing or that she's there to listen and respect how I feel. I'm so hurt that she won't spend anytime with me to even talk about the way I feel it's all about her and that I'm not supposed to be in her secret life, when that's all I want is to be apart of t somehow. I just wanna get away from this guilt and deceit and everything she does to me. I'm in so much pains and depression, I'm crying for her help and she doesn't even notice. I leave Wednesday to go to my dads house in Virginia and I don't wanna come back down here but either place I live I'll have a bad life either way. I just can figure out what to do or how to live my life without feeling wanted or guilted. I just want to be wanted by my family even though that'll never happen sadly.