Anyway my boyfriend works as a primary school teacher which if you don't know is a really hard job, although he loves it. Me meanwhile can't work due to chronic illness so I'm at home with my dog for company most of the day whilst he's away. 

Well the first day when I stay around his house we have great mind blowing sex, because it's Saturday or Sunday at the weekend. But in the week by the time he gets home, we have dinner, he finishes up work planning, and then we get into bed, it's like half nine and we're both super exhausted and whilst we spend about an hour cuddling neither of us has the energy to initiate sex.

So this is what happened last night. After we'd been in bed about an hour cuddling I felt my energy start to return and because I'd been feeling horny earlier that day whilst he was away I was starting to feel aroused again. But by this time it sounded like he was nearly asleep. So I asked him if he was and he said yes. I asked if I should leave him to sleep and he said yes again. So I just said I wanted to give him a kiss, and gave him one goodnight on the cheek (even though I meant to kiss his lips and make out with him lol).

Anyway, so he went to sleep and I told myself I'd try in the morning before he goes to work. Mostly because I want us still to have time in the week to have sex and in the morning seemed like a good idea since we would both be more refreshed and alert. So I tried this morning (and by the way he gets hard quite a lot so it's no question of attraction) but then I asked if he wanted a quickie. He said no and for some reason being so sensitive I felt pretty bad like I was pushing him and turning it into a responsibility to keep things alive between us rather than just enjoying the moment and not turning it into something it wasn't. Anyway I think he said no because there wasn't really enough time and he likes to make love to me properly. By then I was spooning him in bed and I stupidly started crying (I'm very sensitive, lol) but I didn't let him know. I just had to process my emotions (I have PTSD by the way and he knows that, so it explains my sensitivity). Anyway but he was cool and started joking about it ("maybe one day when we're in the supermarket I should pull you into the a toilet cubicle and have a quickie"). I started to lighten up then but honestly I'm left feeling a bit confused. It didn't help that I had a nightmare this morning right before waking which left me not feeling so good in the first place.

ANYWAY if you have read this far already then thanks. I will try to wrap it up. Basically in my last relationship I was ghosted out and we eventually did less and less things together because my ex didn't seem too bothered and I lost that sense of connection with him and emotion and love I had at first. 

Anyway I know my boyfriend is not my ex but I have these fears like what if he ghosts me out too or what if we don't make time to be with each other or time to have sex or whatever. So I get worried and try to keep things alive such as prompting for sex last night/this morning. 

I'm clear headed enough to not behave as if I am responding to my ex but still I have to process through my emotions.

But my point is really I'm sure this kind of situation is somewhat normal so how did you cope and figure your routine out when starting to live together? What advice do you have for a first timer who is absolutely in love with my boyfriend and would do almost anything for him and already try to? I don't want to turn things into a chore. But I don't want to let things slide either. Help?