TTC 2.5 years. PCOS. Giving up?
Hey.
My names Alicia and I've been trying to conceive for two and a half years. I'm on CD 315 today. I'm on 1000 mg of metformin along with being on a low carb diet. You're going to say "why don't go to the doctor and get provera?". I want to, I'm trying to trust my doctors plan for me. She would rather me diet and get my insulin under control to see if I'll get my period back that way. Trying used to be my #1 priority. It's not necessarily not my #1 priority now but it's more of something I may be rewarded with once I reach a lot of my other goals. I still see people with babies and get sad, inevitable. A friend of my got pregnant and then stopped talking to me. Which is fine, I wish her the best. I think I'm content right now though with not having a baby. It would mess up my 'plans' as of this very moment. My husband went back to school and he won't graduate until next year. Then we plan to move to Montana from Alabama. If I were to get pregnant I'd be very happy. No doubt. We aren't preventing and haven't been. I guess I'm just going to work on myself. I've lost 30lbs on low carb. I hate hearing people who say don't worry it will happen. Because obviously for some people it never does. Why give that false hope. For a ton of people it does happen and I'd like to think it probably will for me. Like a lot of you I've only ever wanted to be a mom. Of course that will come with challenges. Anything you want with all of your soul isn't generally handed to you. I guess I'll work on my credit. I like to think of all of the things that will occupy me until I can no longer do anything else because I have everything I want but a baby. I never wanted to get screwed by any guy and get stuck pregnant and living in a camper because all I wanted in that moment was a little thing that will love me unconditionally. I'm not hating on anyone whom that has happened to. We all have different stories. I want the mountains. Where I live it's flat, with a beach. I want mountains. Moose. Rivers. Snow. A family to enjoy those things with. So in my head, if I keep doing what I'm doing I'll have a baby. My husband will have a baby. We will create a family. Forget all the friends that aren't there anymore. Forget the periods that came and the ones you've missed. Tracking you BBT or taking every kind of natural supplement. Forget it. Eventually. Eventually you're going to get the right dosage to make you ovulate. Eventually the adoption will be final, you'll lose the weight, you'll not miscarry, you'll move where you want to be forever, you'll find life long friends, you will buy a home. No matter what. If you want anything enough you'll find a way to have it.
With love,
Your friendly neighborhood infirtile ❤️
Comment
Add Comment
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
