Dad went to prison when I was in middle school

I used sex and an outlet with guys all throughout high school, for my depression and anger. 

Tried to go to counseling but ran away from my home town while he was in tech school. He proposed while he was gone for 6 months. He grew distant from me after the miss around miscarriage and rape. Stopped talking to me, rarely spoke. I told him if he couldn't pull his act together and try to make our relationship work until he got back then we shouldn't be together. He told me fine I guess we shouldn't. I took it as we are done. He took it as a fight. I met someone in a new town, sex was amazing and we got along very well. He was there for me etc this was only for about 3 weeks, then my now husband called me and told me he was sorry and loved me didn't want to lose me etc. I loved him and didn't want to lose him. So I left and moved to where he was, didn't get closer with the guy I fell for who called me telling me he loved me and wanted me to be with him. I chose the man I had known for years because he was the one. 

Flash forward two years. We had a baby a month after we married and now she is almost one. Our relationship is no where near where it was there is all these problems that he is unwilling to get help for or to fix. And I go to counseling and seek help for my past. He is unwilling though. He won't even have sex son me unless I'm laying fave down on the bed. The guy I had a fling with twxnwtky texted me and said happy birthday to my daughter and asked how I was . And since I was so close with him ages ago it felt as if it wa the same. I told him everyingthng. Divorce has been on my mind for the oastb3 months with my husband. Now I don't know what to do. I miss this old fling. And my husband will not change. He clannish to love me. But won't spend a single kick of time. He only is happy when he plays video games. As wrong as it is I think about leaving, taking my daughter and being with the other man. But obviously she is more important. There is a constant sexual attraction to the other man. I would never ever act on it while married I don't belive I'm cheating. But I don't know what to do. Being a military wife I've moved far away from home and have not one friend where I currently live. I could really use some afice. I'd like to remanin anonymous because my mil is on here.