i want to blame you for everything that's happened to me, everything you put me through. i want you to feel the pain that rushed through my body every day i saw you. i want you to understand how shitty it is to cry in the shower every night just so nobody asks what's wrong. i want you to see the way you changed my entire world in matters of seconds. every time i looked into your eyes i saw brightness and darkness holding hands, waiting for me. i continued to go i through the darkness just because of that speck of hope that i had for the light at the end of the tunnel. it never showed up. instead, the light dimmed slowly everyday. and when it was finally gone, i was completely alone.