I'm adding this anonymously because I'm terrified of my mom somehow finding this. But a little about me, cause maybe it can help with whatever this post is...

I'm 13, going to be 14 in August. One of my closest friends is lesbian, and my ex was gay(he used me as a cover up). I'm in 9th grade, and I'm extremely confused about my sexuality.

My friend I mentioned earlier, her name is Jasmine. She likes me, and sometimes she'll get flirty, doing things like kiss my cheek and neck, in a semi friendly manner. She and my old friend Skyler were/are currently the only girls I remotely like. I always saw being on any part of the LGBTQ community was bad, being raised in a slightly homophobic/racist home.

I attempted to talk to one of my female friends about it when I was at her house, and she got tence being around me the second I said "I think I'm bisexual." She scooted away from me on the bed, pulling her younger sister over with her. I instantly felt unwanted, so I quickly laughed it off saying I was kidding. I hated it. She didn't believe me when I said I was joking.

She was talking to a guy she liked, and any time I tried sitting next to her on the bed we would be sharing that night, she would scoot her and the computer away. After awhile I just got up and left the room, taking my phone with me and going to sit in the living room, directly outside of her bedroom. For the next 30 minuets I sat in the living room, blaring music from my headphones and cried. I felt so unwanted within the first hour of being at my second home. I had to tell her I was crying from problems with my boyfriend that night when I cried again.

Me and her are also extremely cuddly with each other, so it upset me when she retracted away from me when I tried to cuddle with her that night. Never once had I thought of this girl as more than a friend.

Fast forward to a couple nights later, I was watching clips of the pride march on Snapchat, showing my mom some of the posts. She called everyone in the march discusting. I felt extreamly hurt. I asked what she would do if I was bi or gay, and she told me she would except me, as long as she didn't get black or Asian gran babies.

I don't really know what this post is, or what I'm expecting... I just feel so lost. I'm currently battling depression, anxiety, self harm, and sexuality-issues. I have no idea who I like and I don't know what to do. My entire family makes gay jokes, some rude and some claiming us as gay. I've used this as a way of de-stressing, as I use it to come out in a way.

I honestly don't know what I am and I feel so lost in the world. I feel like I don't belong anywhere... sorry for anything offensive in here just experiences and feelings...

Update: a form of a joke: my brother walks into the kitchen and says "your queer. Kinda. Just a lil bit" and then walked away

I told her i loved her and she word for word said "*No homo"