My little pumpkin is 2 months old! I'll get straight to it: my mother-in-law and my husband's sister with 3 terrible kids live close by. My family lives 500 miles away. MIL has visited a few times, but always makes passive aggressive comments about how often Baby eats (He's breastfed exclusively, no bottle or supplementing.) She says that he doesn't need to eat so much, that I need to time how long he eats and cut him off. Except she won't tell me, I hear this through my husband. I only get the passive aggressive comments. When she comes by, I ask her to wash her hands, and she huffs and puffs about it. (Her house is disgusting with dog feces and urine all over the place. I think a simple hand wash request is acceptable! Especially since she's a NURSE and should be used to it!) This Sunday, hubby is having MIL and this sister over for BBQ. Sister has 3 kids that are so developmentally behind it breaks my heart. 10, 9, and 4. The 10 year old is fine. The 9 year old is acting out by pooping his pants and wetting himself. The 4 year old girl is non-verbal and destructive, and the mom doesn't do anything about it. It's way more than just toddler desctruction: I've worked in childcare, I've seen my fair share of toddlers!

Anyway, I have so much anxiety over them all coming over! I know I can lay down some ground rules at the door (wash hands, don't touch Baby's face, be gentle around Baby.) It's not that he is going to be around kids: he is exposed to other kids with our friends and at church. It's just THESE specific people... Hubby has warned me that this sister is very jealous of us, so watch out for her being nasty! Great! I have a hard time being assertive and standing my ground. MIL came over once, barged in the door and ripped my baby from my arms so hard that she hurt my breasts and Baby started crying. She blamed his crying on "mom eating some kind of weird cheese." She didn't ask to hold him or even hold her arms out offering to take him. She has had offered to "help", but her idea of helping is holding the baby while I do stuff around the house. This is particularly difficult for me since I had a rough birth and lost a lot of blood and had a transfusion. I'm STILL not back to myself. If other people hold the baby, I still have to feed and take care of him. Help for me comes in the form of helping around the house. The last time she was here and offered to help, she took a nap! Baby was going through a growth spurt, so yeah, he was eating more. She complained to my husband that I never let her hold him. She took a nap! She also never asked. I'm a new mom, I'm soaking up all the Baby that I can! I'm not going to insist for other people to hold him. If you ask, sure, but otherwise, I'm happy holding my little guy! I could go on! For the record, my husband has said, in his words, that his mom is stupid and that he is on my side. I don't want sides. I just want her to understand that mom trumps grandma, and she is not in charge.

So finally, how do I get through these family get togethers without having an anxiety attack but staying polite? Any advice is much appreciated! Thank you, ladies!