When you worked five 12 hour shifts in a row just to not be at home alone. When you picked up every avaliable shift just so your mind can be on anything else, but what you have lost. When you surround yourself with people so you won't think about how depressed, lonely, sad, and suicidal you are. This is my life. I moved into this beautiful apartment, I have all this brand new beautiful furniture and I never want to be here. Realizing more and more everyday that it doesn't get any easier you just learn to live in constant agony.