Almost 5 years ago I was victim of Rape. I was 13 & of course at that time I didn't know I was raped till I got older and put the pieces together. I was saying no in my mind but couldn't open my mouth, I don't even think that would've made a difference. I hate myself whenever I remind myself of it, because I didn't do nothing to stop it. I just sat there no movement in my body, no sound, no emotion. I called out for my mom but I was too far for her to hear me. I thought about pressing charges of him but I am convinced no one will believe me or take it seriously since it's been 4 1/2 years ago and he was 14 (he claimed) when I confronted him about what he did. So he definitely wouldn't be charged. I am now almost 18 and my ability to have kids is very low due to the fact that he had an STD and I wasn't aware till I had a check up almost a year. I often ask myself how come I didn't push him off, why I did I inbox him back on fb, why didn't I go to sleep like I supposed to. As it was going on it was like I was paralyzed. I blacked out. I'm just sitting here crying and hating myself. Life goes on but the memories are here to stay.