I lost my baby

Emily
So at 6 weeks I lost my baby and me and the dad weren't talking. I was 20 at the time. Now we're back together and I can't stop thinking about the baby I lost it was 1 year ago but I still find myself crying myself to sleep over the baby and I blame myself I'm sure I could have stopped it. But I feel like the dad doesn't understand as I wasn't far along and can't explain how I feel.