Where Do You Draw The Line!?

Question

So I have been reading a lot of discussions about to spank or not to spank. And I got to thinking about a few months ago I saw a few videos of different children(different races, religions, countries) these children(in the three videos I've seen these children were all boys younger than 10) viciously attacked their parent (usually the mom) and these women sat there and did nothing in all three videos. The one that is etched in my brain is the one of a boy no bigger than 6 or 7 hitting and punching his mother while his sister sat in the other seat doing nothing and men and women just look in horror as this is happening...... Is this okay ? What would you do if you were in these women's shoes!? What type of punishment or reaction would you give!?

Edit: I AM NOT ASKING ABOUT SPANKING SO DO NOT THINK ITS ABOUT THAT. I AM ASKING WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE IN THAT WOMANS SHOES AND WHAT TYPE OF PUNISHMENT OR REACTION YOU WOULD GIVE.

Edit: this post is about the CHILDREN HITTING PARENTS. Some people keep commenting about spanking the children is bad. That's not it. The question is about the children hitting the parents.

Answer

There is not a point where I would even CONSIDER hitting a child. Trust me, I work with some extremely violent kids at work. The most violent ones being 6 years old. Depending on the child and their specific behavior plan, there are several different approaches. For example, if a child is being violent for attention, getting in their face and screaming at them to stop isn't going to fix the problem. It's literally giving them what they want, therefore reinforcing the behavior. If they're doing it to escape a task, allowing them to walk away is reinforcing it. To solve problem behaviors, you figure out their function (four options- attention, escape/avoidance, gain access to a preferred item, or automatic) and teach appropriate replacement skills. When the replacement skills are used, they are reinforced. A specific example- one of our kids would scream if you weren't paying attention to him. So he was taught how to gain attention (tap a shoulder, raise his hand, say a name). When he screams, he's ignored. When he gains attention appropriately, he's given attention

Answer

If my daughter hits me I smack her hand. She usually pouts and I tell her "well you don't like being hit, neither does Mommy. That's not nice." Only once has she ever had her butt smacked. I'm all for spanking if it's needed. Children need discipline.

Answer

His little ass would be going to therapy, anger management, a mental hospital, Scared Straight, something. Jfc. I won't ever lay my hands on my child, though. What is that going to teach them? You can't hit me, but I can hit you? No. That's not okay.

Answer

I couldn't tell you, my child would Never get to that point. That's pure lack of discipline. I'm all for spankings (when it is needed)

Answer

You have to wonder how a child got to that point that they think it's okay to physically attack people. Think about it.

Answer

That sounds like passive parenting and it is just as ineffective as authoritarian parenting (unsung CP). 
   
Authoritative parenting would not let a child get to this point on their own, they would have already been seeking help from someone who can show them more tools or look into the child having learning disabilities.
   
There is no reason to hit your child to teach them a lesson.

Answer

If a 6 year old is acting violent a punishment is going to be completely ineffective. The child had mental issues (my best get would be that either he himself has been beaten or he has watched his mother being beaten and is mimicking a learned behaviour). That child needs therapy not a spanking.

Answer

So, I'm going to hit you for hitting me?

For a 4 year old that's EXTREMELY confusing. There are better ways then spanking for children. And it's been PROVEN by people with degrees that other methods then spanking and hitting your child (so corporal punishment) work WAY better.

Acting out of anger and spanking your child vs calmly telling them what they did and teaching them how to deal with their emotions... what sounds better?

Answer

If a child that young is acting that violently/aggressively, there's something wrong. Probably a behavioral or other mental issue, which spanking would not fix. You can't fix violence with more violence

Answer

I do think you can subdue the child without hitting them most of the time, they can not be taught it is ok to attack someone like that, but also remember there are better ways to stop it other then hitting to try first

Where Do You Draw The Line!?

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