Marriage???

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for close to 5 months now, I know he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We recently had a huge fight but we still love one another. I want to tell him how I feel and ask him to marry me but I am afraid of him saying no. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

(Please be respectful with your responses)

Answer

I would wait until you've been together longer; five months isn't very long. More practice dealing with your arguments and more time to understand how he feels without such a serious commitment. I know you feel ready to marry him now but that doesn't mean you have to get married right away. Of course be open and tell him how you feel but asking for an engagement too soon could lead to problems down the road (if he's not ready and says no or says yes and changes his mind)

Answer

I don't know your relationship or how you two are together or anything like that. None of us do. We don't know how you're feeling or how he feels either. So I'm not going to tell you "yeah go for it!" or tell you the opposite and advise against it. Every couple is different and only you two know what's best for you.

With that said, my husband and I got married after two months. Full blown eloped lol we were 21 at the time and fell in love long distance (he was stationed 900 miles away with the military but I knew him from high school).  So our timeline looked like this:
June 21, 2013 - he messaged me on Facebook for the first time.

July 17th - I drove 900 miles to see him. I stayed with him for 5 days. This is when we officially became a couple and said I love you for the first time.

August 6th - we decided we wanted to get married.

October 5th - I drove back down to North Carolina and we eloped.

December 26th - we finally moved in together.

We just knew we were supposed to be together and we both had our lives pulled together as well so we weren't kids right out of high schcool or anything like that. Both of us had our own homes, financial stability, full time jobs, an education, etc. so we felt very comfortable making the decision to get married. We're now 25 and just had our first daughter last month 😊 I don't regret my choice to marry him one bit.

Answer

You don't know everything about a person in 5 months. I would wait. How old are you?? You don't have to rush into marriage, enjoy dating☺

Answer

My parents got engaged after only a month and have been happily married for 31 years, if you know he's the one, then do it.

Answer

Don't listen to these people. They don't know you or him as a person. Listen to your heart. I married my husband after only knowing him for three months and were still happily married. We have the best marriage because we are lovers and best friends. We hardly ever fight and we are growing together. Everyone called us crazy and that we wouldn't last but we didn't listen to them we listened to our hearts and went with them.

Answer

How about a promise ring first?
In the one year that I've been living with my boyfriend, I have found out things about him that I had no idea of, and visa versa. The first five months can still be the honeymoon stage, maybe some fights here and there but it's still the stage of rainbows and sunshine. It is smart to wait, you never know what may happen and once you get truly comfortable, real personalities and issues begin to unfold.

Answer

5 months and after a huge fight? Probably not the most rational decision.

Answer

That's a jump 😬

Why not wait a bit longer?

Answer

I dated my husband for 3 months before he proposed. He told me later that he knew before a month I was the one. We were engaged 6 months. No one but the 2 of you can say if it's time or not. Fights happen, it's all part of being in a relationship. I will say make sure you're ready before you commit, and there's no set amount of time before you're sure. It can be a month, it can be 5 years.

Answer

Obviously theres lots of opinions here so ill just leave mine here.

If you ask him to marry you, you essentially are setting the stage for him to think that youll chase him to the ends of the earth. Which isnt a womans role in a healthy relationship, men are inherently wired to hunt us. Let him hunt you, not the other way around. Know you're worth and make him work for it. That doesnt mean you can't share your feelings for him or at the very least that you see a future with him. Sure relationships that move quickly into marriage can work but from what you've written here, to me this doesn't seem like that type of relationship. My best friend just got married after a 6 mo engagement on her 1 yr anniversary and man is she struggling to keep it together. Its just not enough time to truly know someone, shes navigating marriage and learning who he is all at once. If you guys fight on the regular, just wait it out.

Marriage???

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